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Friday, December 15, 2006 ``
12:28 AM

Untitled

Don't you wish you could actually turn back time? Change the course of something so it would not happen? But I guess even if you did that, you are merely delaying the inevitable...the thing you dread, it might happen eventually. All that you can do for now is hold on, and do what you do best, or something like that.

Its amazing how some people actually do the opposite to the things they say they intend to do. 'I intend to work and save money' but the next thing you know, that person is throwing money around like it falls from heaven and there are no such thing as poor people. Or rather 'I want to sleep early, I'm tired' and the next thing you see, is that person talking on the phone for more than an hour, or watching TV shows, or playing games, rather than resting up.

Its also amazing how some people brush you off like you aren't important, or were never important. How they forget what they use to do, or what you use to do for them. All precious things discarded like nothing. It saddens me...it does. Sure, people change, their hearts, body, mind..they all change. But ask yourself, are you changing for the better? Do you think you're doing good now? There are many factors to consider, such as who are your peers now...who were your peers before? What did you use to do? What did you do, and what do you do now? Many many difficult questions...but very little answers. I am very lost...

I'd ask myself...what happened to that girl who used to hug my hand, hold it tight, and warm me with her loving hugs and would never let go of me no matter what. Now in her place, is someone who's got her priorities wrong...someone who has no self-control, making sad excuses to cover her mistakes for all the wrong reasons. Someone I don't know who doesn't do what she does anymore. Maybe she's happy, so to hell with me, right? Hahaha..I am very confused. What can I do? I cannot change her. I love her, and by right, should accept every bit of her, no matter how much it hurts...It is possible that I am jealous, with the people she socializes with now, however...well, nevermind. I am forced to put on a mask that says 'no matter what fuck happens to me, I have to keep this mask on, this mask that smiles, and hide my sadness behind it'...as time goes by, I realize I have lost the rights to be jealous, to be sad in front of her, to be angry...well, frankly because..she doesn't like it? Or perhaps, she won't accept my feelings. She is rejecting them for her happiness. Foolhardy, I cannot let her go...unless she wants to go on her own. Is she staying with me out of love...or out of guilt? But no matter what is thrown at me, I will face it, and move along...because I want to prove to her, that I have stood my stand, and in the end, I am the one who loves her most..the one who stands by her no matter what, to the end..no matter how hurt, or what circumstances. Sometimes it goes that I am left feeling unappreciated, but as expressed by one of my friends...I guess its alright. Working in the shadows...Although, a nice sincere thank you would do very very nicely. But definately, I will show her...that I am capable, worthy, no matter how painful, to walk this journey called 'love'. If she cannot walk with me, then I will carry her on my back...Haha, sorry about the whole entry. I just feel like letting lose this pain I am holding in. I'm sick of it frankly, but you see...I'm trying my best to hold on...

I will be leaving next year...and depends on how she grows...good or bad, with her friends, also good or bad she will grow...and I cannot stop that, no matter what. I just hope she walks the right path..I have shown her certain things, advised on certain things..but it is up to her to do the right things. If she does it wrongly..I hope she learns her lessons, the hard way..I will not be around for a period of time to pull her up when she's down..like I did before..which I doubt she remembers. Hahaha...I guess I will conclude my entry now. I did not get to shout out loud the last time I went to the beach. If she even reads this entry...she might get offended, but I am merely typing out my thoughts, without forcing her to do anything...well, whatever goes then. Good Night...I love you...Min. We will be coming 1 year and a half on this coming 18th...Hahaha, I hope you remember.



{Vin}IntroSs~
Name:: Kevin Tan, Vin, Tan, Kev, Kebin Boi, Shin, Kevie-kun, etc etc..
D.O.B:: 23rd March 1990
Horoscope Sign:: Aries
Chinese Zodiac:: Horse
Email:: lone_redwolf76@hotmail.com
Location:: BSB
School:: Chung Hwa- SRS Datuk Simon Fung- Maktab Nasional- St.George's School
Hometown:: Kota Kinabalu?
Places I'd like to visit:: I'd love to go around the world if I have the chance.
Loves:: MinMin, Friends, Food, Drawing, Anime, Reading, Sleeping, Sarcasm, Chatting, Music, Writing, etc..
Fav. Colors:: Silver, Red, Grey, Black, Blue

 {Min}IntroSs~
Name:: Min, Call me RaiN~! xD
D.O.B:: November 01, 1989
Horoscop Sign:: ScorPio~!
Zodiac Sign:: Snake *psst psst* xP
Email:: dream_dynasty@Hotmail.Com, doublewish22@Yahoo.com
Location:: Brunei, Bandar Seri Begawan~
SchooL:: chms.
HomeTown:: Taiwan, Taipei~! (p/s: not kao hsiong xP)
Places I'd like to visit:: Japan, NewZealand, England, Canada, Italy, China~ Um... mostly Quiet and clean place =D
Loveees ♡~:: {most} like VinVin~! xD and my Lovely Peeps~~ Pamela, Manzy, Burt, Jessie, Aby, Irene~ and lalala~ xDD
Favv Colors:: Green Tea, Green~, White~, Yellow~, Orange~



Darrlinkss.

Mei
Manzy
JamFleas
Josephine
Burt
Burt
Jessieca
Mary
Cindy
Justin
Irene
12-Dz
DivineAngels
RainMin
Vin
Min

` Memories.

June 2005
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December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
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September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
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Can you hear me?



Introduction: This blog layout is originally made by RainMin, credit from no one by myself =b.