.::___M.u.g.e.n__W.i.s.h.e.S___::. The Lock of Love

Tuesday, December 26, 2006 ``
7:32 PM

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas my dear Min. =) Love you lots!

Monday, December 18, 2006 ``
4:06 PM

Happy 18 Months to Dear~

Hahaha, I am once again here blogging. Forgive me for my previous post, but I wasn't feeling too up up up that time. Well, just got off the phone with my dearest Midori no Ringo, for those who don't know that means Green Apple, and now I suppose, she's asleep, if not on the phone again, lol.

Hmm, it should be exactly or slightly over 12 right now, so yeah, Happy 18 Monthsary to Min and me. A long way indeed we've come...and although things may seem a little bad right now, but I am sure they will get better in due time. Incidentally, it is also my little brother, Aaron's birthday today. So Happy birthday to him too. 5 years old now. Hahaha, my do they grow or what?

So let me share with all of you a story :

Once upon a time there was a boy who thought that he would be alone for a long long time. One day, while he was dizzy from heatstroke, and so he stopped to rest at a diner. He met a girl there, but didn't remember her name, but only her face. Several months later, a 'princess' is having a birthday party, and the boy was invited. It was a coincident, that he saw the girl again, this time he sees her differently. Perhaps, it was love at second sight. He debated whether to take a risk with his inner self, and so decided to make a move first. After some time of courting, he managed to somehow win the heart of the girl. The girl is now still his girlfriend, but after a lot of hardships, the relationship is hanging over a cliff, as painful as it gets, the boy is trying to hold on no matter what. He can't let go, he doesn't want to let go...at least not yet. The girl is giving her best shot as well, maybe...The boy still loves the girl, no matter what she has done to hurt him so badly, so deeply, the wounds keep opening again and again. But this pain, it is a sign that he is alive...it is a test, and it is much better, much much better than being left alone in the dark. He smiles inside, knowing that he still has a chance, and will continue to be by her side...he cherishes all the memories he has with her...and hopes that she realizes that he has made a lot of sacrifices involving money, time, life, blood, sweat, tears...and that no ordinary person, or no other person would do that much for her...and he will go on and on, even when nobody else will.

Well, this is more or less my story, with all the details left out. Sorry if it sounds odd, or one-sided-ish. 6 more months, and that gives us 2 years in the process...Good enough for marriage no? Lol =P We are planning to have say..at least 2 - 3 kids. Will not reveal the other details, but then again...Nahhhh~ Hahaha, good night then. I hope Min is sleeping now and that she is dreaming of me...hahaha. Sweet dreams, sleep tight, love you and miss you lots..you know that? Haha, well thats all for now. Towards our future then~!!

Friday, December 15, 2006 ``
12:28 AM

Untitled

Don't you wish you could actually turn back time? Change the course of something so it would not happen? But I guess even if you did that, you are merely delaying the inevitable...the thing you dread, it might happen eventually. All that you can do for now is hold on, and do what you do best, or something like that.

Its amazing how some people actually do the opposite to the things they say they intend to do. 'I intend to work and save money' but the next thing you know, that person is throwing money around like it falls from heaven and there are no such thing as poor people. Or rather 'I want to sleep early, I'm tired' and the next thing you see, is that person talking on the phone for more than an hour, or watching TV shows, or playing games, rather than resting up.

Its also amazing how some people brush you off like you aren't important, or were never important. How they forget what they use to do, or what you use to do for them. All precious things discarded like nothing. It saddens me...it does. Sure, people change, their hearts, body, mind..they all change. But ask yourself, are you changing for the better? Do you think you're doing good now? There are many factors to consider, such as who are your peers now...who were your peers before? What did you use to do? What did you do, and what do you do now? Many many difficult questions...but very little answers. I am very lost...

I'd ask myself...what happened to that girl who used to hug my hand, hold it tight, and warm me with her loving hugs and would never let go of me no matter what. Now in her place, is someone who's got her priorities wrong...someone who has no self-control, making sad excuses to cover her mistakes for all the wrong reasons. Someone I don't know who doesn't do what she does anymore. Maybe she's happy, so to hell with me, right? Hahaha..I am very confused. What can I do? I cannot change her. I love her, and by right, should accept every bit of her, no matter how much it hurts...It is possible that I am jealous, with the people she socializes with now, however...well, nevermind. I am forced to put on a mask that says 'no matter what fuck happens to me, I have to keep this mask on, this mask that smiles, and hide my sadness behind it'...as time goes by, I realize I have lost the rights to be jealous, to be sad in front of her, to be angry...well, frankly because..she doesn't like it? Or perhaps, she won't accept my feelings. She is rejecting them for her happiness. Foolhardy, I cannot let her go...unless she wants to go on her own. Is she staying with me out of love...or out of guilt? But no matter what is thrown at me, I will face it, and move along...because I want to prove to her, that I have stood my stand, and in the end, I am the one who loves her most..the one who stands by her no matter what, to the end..no matter how hurt, or what circumstances. Sometimes it goes that I am left feeling unappreciated, but as expressed by one of my friends...I guess its alright. Working in the shadows...Although, a nice sincere thank you would do very very nicely. But definately, I will show her...that I am capable, worthy, no matter how painful, to walk this journey called 'love'. If she cannot walk with me, then I will carry her on my back...Haha, sorry about the whole entry. I just feel like letting lose this pain I am holding in. I'm sick of it frankly, but you see...I'm trying my best to hold on...

I will be leaving next year...and depends on how she grows...good or bad, with her friends, also good or bad she will grow...and I cannot stop that, no matter what. I just hope she walks the right path..I have shown her certain things, advised on certain things..but it is up to her to do the right things. If she does it wrongly..I hope she learns her lessons, the hard way..I will not be around for a period of time to pull her up when she's down..like I did before..which I doubt she remembers. Hahaha...I guess I will conclude my entry now. I did not get to shout out loud the last time I went to the beach. If she even reads this entry...she might get offended, but I am merely typing out my thoughts, without forcing her to do anything...well, whatever goes then. Good Night...I love you...Min. We will be coming 1 year and a half on this coming 18th...Hahaha, I hope you remember.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006 ``
7:10 PM

Blast

I had a good time with my friends yesterday, probably the last time I'll see most of them...This saddens me, but hell, life goes on, right?

I also had a blast with Min yesterday. I suppose, things are more or less patched up, or correct me if I'm wrong, it should be fine now. We're still together, and going on, which is what should matter most, I suppose. I have no second thoughts, no second choices. Well well, I slowdanced with Min, though basically three songs only, she was queasy, and er, shy, lol.

So hmm, I was in school yesterday morning doing the class magazine thing. Around 10.30 I met with Min, and we took the bus back to Seri. I packed my bag, Min chit-chat with my mom, and insult me at the same time. We watched Prince of Tennis Live Action, and Detective Conan Live Action. Had some trouble with the booking of rooms, but after a while, I solved it or something like that.

Went to Riverview around 3. Spent about 1 hour admiring the room, checking out the towels, TV, Radio, and lights. XD Min took her shower first, then I did, oooh, there was a TUB. And OMFG I haven't had a bath in one of those in ages! After that, got dressed, and then wait for others to arrive. Around 6.45 we went down, saw my fellow DragonZ, and followed them to the tempat keramaian.

Once everyone arrived, we dig in and all that. Makan like pig. XD Once eating, some music were played, and well, got dance a bit, but I nearly threw up, so I decided to sit around a little while longer. After that, slow song dimainkan..and I danced to that, at first with my brothas..and then when Manzy (THANK YOU THANK YOU!) finally convinced Min to dance, we dance, to about 3 songs when Min got queasy and tired, we sat down. Then when techno was played, disco start lah...I dunno how many different guys I danced with. XD Well, Min danced a bit bit lar, but she got queasy..again? @@" Haha, dance, take photo, accompany Min, and again and again. Repeated cycle. Haha, around 11, I left with Min, because she needs to go to work the next day.

According to Sufi and other people whom I met today...magazine thing again, some commotion came up =\ And that pretty much ruined the night huh? Ah...thats too bad. But other than that, it was a job well done, all thanks to the committee members, Manzy, Aby, Michelle and all. Salutations, and my sincerest thanks, and apologies.

Well, It's one night that cannot be rewinded. So yeah. I think I got a little drunk >_>" I drank..um, 3 Tigers? Lol, tak tahan one lar. One from Teck, one from Seng, and uh..Ronald left his on my table, so yeah. @@" Huhuhu..But no worries, I assure you nothing happened at all. Haha, Min is working..and she's going out with friends for dinner tonight, so yeah...Take care dear, and don't come home so late. Ahaha, tomorrow got work again. Be good yeah. *public mwakz and hugz* XD Well, love you.

Hopefully, tomorrow going out to Gadong for Dota..my fingers gatal for Dota. XD